This is a picture from Nassa of Cumbria. The little Island that looks like kidney right on the end is Walney Island, where I live.
Our weather! Well no wonder we Brits are always talking about it. The sun was high and the sea was a perfect blue, with pretty white flumed waves leisurely rolling in as I looked out of my window. So I went down to the beach yesterday and watched a group of riders who were walking their horses along the waters edge, such a pretty sight. I’m sure the horses were enjoying the feel of the water on their feet as much as we do when we paddle. A breeze had started as I wandered down, ‘It was a warm breeze for once.’ Wind surfers were flying up and down further out in the waves as they rolled in.
Today it’s blowing a hooley, and it’s very cool, although the sun is shining. Never two days the same! I am not a bit happy about it!! We all need at least two weeks of sunshine every day here. I’m just praying for an Indian summer in September. Hopefully I will be happy if I’m able to have my month in Malta this year, just can’t wait!
Sunday last I had a really nice afternoon sitting with friends outside of, The Queens Arms, Biggar Bank. I have mentioned it before because it’s my favourite pub, so relaxed and friendly. My friend who owns the pub invited me to her engagement party. ‘I’m not sure, if I have written this last time.’ The only reason I’m repeating myself is because I was talking to quite a lot of different people, one was a biker and I had seen him before. I met him a few days later, and he was telling me he was having a party at the Queen’s on Saturday next and would I like to go. Well, I know he was just a nice guy being polite, but can you guess how I felt when I was being asked to a biker’s party at my age.
Getting back to Sunday! Some of the friends we met are so funny we laughed most of the afternoon. The day had started off dull and cold but then around 12, the sun came out and it was a real summer’s day. Whenever the sun shines I just have to put my washer on, so I had a full whirley gig of washing outside in my back garden.
Then I had a phone call, it was a friend who said it’s too nice to stay in lets go for a drink. Five of us got together and then other people joined us, so of course the afternoon got longer. It went almost dark around six o-clock, and we realised that it was going it throw it down. Our other friends left and we debated whether to go to another pub, but I was concerned about my washing so said, ‘I’ve everything in to make a stir fry, let’s go to my house.’ Fine, but I had no drink in, so we had to stop at out local Co-op. My friend went in and caught up with someone she met inside so of course, the sky went blacker than ever and the heavens opened. When we arrived home I didn’t even look outside. I knew my washing would be so wet I would have put it straight into my bath, so decided to leave it. When I went to bed and looked out it had gone. After a couple of drinks and a nice afternoon all I thought was, ‘If it’s gone it’s gone.’ I had a good sleep and next morning it was back on the line. ‘Was pretty sure I was having an Alzheimer moment.’ Turned out my new neighbours had taken it in for me, ‘So still got my marbles!’ The poor man who had taken it in had been so wet by the time he managed to get it all in, he had to change all his clothes. Looks like I have some very nice neighbours. Lucky me!
Rather boring month, as I had a little problem a couple of weeks ago.
I had an intravenous drip to help keep Osteoporosis away; the lovely nurse told me I might have some flue symptoms. I had the worst reaction; and had everything that was written down as, ‘Common side effects.’ I am writing about this because, I’m a pretty tough older woman and luckily still quite strong, so can manage on my own. Still if I had been weaker, I would have been in an awful state. I really think older or more fragile people should be warned about these side effects. Of course, no sympathy for me! All I got off one of my older friends, ‘I’ve told you before, you are an Alien if there’s anything strange going you will get it.’ He made me laugh because I sometimes think I am!! Anyway, just a blip and I fine now, and I did have a lovely friend call round with milk and chocolate. Coffee and choc cure a lot of things for me.
I started this last week trying to get it written earlier. Life just gets in the way so here I am trying again. Didn’t answer my phone this morning I was so determined to have a quiet day, don’t have many phone calls because most friends message on FB now. Didn’t work! Friend turned up anyway. So next time it rang I answered it and it was another friend who needed a cuppa, choc and a chat, so she is on the way over. Looking forward to seeing her though! Lovely day and to be inside is wasteful, still we can sit out side for coffee when she arrives.
I was asked by a FB friend this morning if I always had the urge to help. I was thinking about it this morning and wondered why I cared so much about people, animals and the state of the world right now. Then I thought about how I was brought up and how it affected my life. When WW2 was over, and my father came home out of the 8th army, things were never normal. I had two parents who had mental problems and from 10 years old I lived in a war zone. I was so afraid, that I spent the next few years just trying hard to do as I was told, so I wouldn’t get a punch. I had no expectations as I wasn’t allowed to go to school a full week at any time. So although I still stayed in a B class I never actually learnt much because each day I had off I missed a lesson.
Because of their drinking, I also felt like I was looking after them as if I was the adult.
I met my husband to be at 17, and married him at 20. I had my first son at 21. All I then wanted to be was a good wife and mother. I never realised I could be a person who could make decisions. So carried on, just being me trying to please everyone else. After over ten years of marriage, we were still in a two up and two down house with no bathroom or any other facilities. My husband was a joiner but had back trouble and had two years off work. We were living on £7-10 shillings a week. I would knit, and sew making the boy’s clothes and everything was home cooked to make ends meet. Still not realising I had any choice, I accepted every thing that was thrown at me and not demanding more as I thought everyone lived the same way. When the boys were 7 and 10 I realised I had to make a living or we were never going to get out of where we were. I had trained as a florist from 12 years old and my mother asked me to buy her corner shop off her. It was a fruit, vegetables, and flower shop. ‘In those days gone by, there were no super markets and almost every street had a corner shop at the end!’ Again I just accepted what I was offered without argument, It was a shambles and I still didn’t realise my husband could have fixed it all, I just plodded on. I finally opened a Flower shop in the town centre and it was doing very well. Then found out my husband was taking money and spending £25 on five cigars a week. This was so shocking I left him for a week, we talked and he promised to get a job and to not take any more money. It wasn’t just the cigar money he had been taking so he had put us in jeopardy! Still I believed him when he said he would get a job and stop smoking those cigars. We carried on and nothing changed, then girls came to me and told me he was doing it again. The week I had left him I had gone out with the girls from work and met someone else. I didn’t carry on seeing this other person but told my husband as I had never looked at another man since I met him. He decided he couldn’t work as I had made him too upset to work. I even brought the doctor to see him because I was so sorry for him! He said he was having a nervous break down. Doctor told him he wasn’t, ‘That what was wrong with him was he was wallowing in self pity.’ He never went to see that doctor again! The rest of the story was the same I knocked myself out to make things right. We bought a new house but it didn’t help. I realised I didn’t even like my husband any more. So in my 40h year I divorced. I changed my life and could say, ‘I found me in my 40s.’ I still like and love people. But I have found that some people, ‘Take niceness, for stupidity!’ (I usually don’t talk about my marriage, and won't again.) There were good times, especially when the children were young, we didn't need much money then as we could go to the beach with a picnic. We would feed the ducks in the Park, there were lots of places to take them free.
I'm writing this after I sent the piece about my marriage public. I know you can't put twenty years of a life in such a short passage, and hope it comes across as I hoped it would. I wanted to say to so many people who have been in touch with me. You can change and be much stronger, even without losing yourself. I feel quite vulnerable right now as some things I do keep to myself. I hope it doesn't come across as if I'm looking for sympathy, because the passage below is so true!
I changed my life when I divorced, and these past 40 years have been a lifetime relived. So many new adventures and hopefully more to come! Also, many loving friends who fill my life.
A big sorry friends!
I hit send to soon, I should have said, 'Take care, Bye all and Be Happy